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| How to Find Joy When Gluten Free? |
Last Updated 12/09/2020
Christmas traditions can be extremely difficult to give up when gluten free. They provide familiarity, comfort, and a sense of security and belonging.
However, once your whole world has been turned upside down by an intolerance to gluten, ditching those special traditions isn't as simple as just avoiding the turkey stuffing and dinner rolls.
Holiday parties, pot-lucks at work, cookie exchanges, and well-meaning gifts you can't eat can trigger a host of emotional reactions, as well as feelings of loss and deprivation. Add financial concerns to the mix, due to the Covid-19 epidemic, and the holidays can quickly turn into a nightmare.
If you're following a gluten-free diet, Christmas can still be fun and exciting regardless of your situation. You can still have a yummy dinner, Christmas cookies, presents, and a house that smells like Christmas.
All it takes is a little know-how and the courage to do something different.
If the holidays have been getting you down lately, if you're feeling like you're all alone and you just can't do this, here are 5 tips I've learned about finding the joy in Christmas when you have to be gluten free.
Tip #1: Nothing Stays the Same
Christmas for us is never the same, year after year.
For example, when we still lived in Utah, my kids were too far away to visit. Our closest friend took her kids on a Christmas cruise off the coast of Florida, so she didn't drop by that year.
I also didn't hear from the rest of the family that lived in the area, back then, but that isn't unusual. My baby sister's family doesn't believe in cross-contamination and won't eat gluten free for even one single meal. Because of that, we couldn't attend social gatherings at her house due to the amount of gluten everywhere.
I don't blame her, though.
I didn't understand how I could react to gluten just by eating at the same table with others, until I finally sat back one day and watched "how" others eat.
I was greatly amazed at just how easy it was to get bread crumbs all over the table, especially if people have the habit of talking with their hands.
Bread crumbs flew everywhere and would have landed in my food if I had been eating something.
It quickly became obvious to me that putting myself in jeopardy like that wasn't worth having to spend several days in the bathroom and battle weeks worth of symptoms afterward.
The exhaustion getting glutened hangs on forever it seems. We had an 18-inch table-top fiber optic Christmas tree that I normally set up in the corner of the living room, but I just didn't have the energy to put it up that year.
The butter we'd been eating over the past few months had totally worn me out.
While hubby told me not to worry about it, that we didn't need a Christmas tree that year, and that I should just be grateful I had discovered what had been glutening me at that time, it took some mental adjustment to be alright with things as they were.
Every year, Christmas seriously changes for us.
Over the years, I've learned to just let go of the whole idea of holiday tradition.
For example, another year, we were broke but had a new grand baby to enjoy. That year, hubby had a decent job, but I didn't have the energy to decorate the house or even cook Christmas dinner.
Surprisingly, the people upstairs who we were renting our basement apartment from, invited us to spend Christmas day with them.
We worked out a gluten-free menu together.
They were perfectly willing to make the sacrifices required in order for me to be there -- like no stuffing inside of the turkey and all gluten-free side dishes.
I took a cherry cheesecake for dessert and gluten-free rolls that I made from a Sun Flower Mills French Bread Mix, so that the rolls would still be soft on Christmas day.
Nothing stays the same.
Due to Covid-19, I don't know what we are going to do this year. Since moving to Texas, my oldest son has been hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. But this year, we spent Thanksgiving alone.
Sometimes, you just have to accept things as they are and roll with the challenges life brings.
Tip #2: Don't Make the Gluten-Free Restrictions Important
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| Making Anything Important Produces Anxiety and Stress |
If you've had to give up some of your favorite holiday traditions due to your gluten-free diet, you might be having a difficult time overcoming the struggle that surfaces when things don't go the way you expect them to. It took me nearly three years just to figure out how to make a decent gluten-free chocolate cake, let alone a few traditional Christmas cookies that didn't taste like sand.
Crushed expectations always sets you up for a bit of misery. If you make those expectations important, you'll only get anxious in return.
Have you ever noticed that?
The hustle and bustle of Christmas is stressful because you have made all of the things you think you need to get done, or have ready before Christmas morning, very important.
In addition, you might feel sorry for yourself when you can't have something you identify with Christmas, and the stress of making that restriction important eats away at you.
To this day, I still cannot make a decent traditional pie crust gluten free, even though hubby loves pie for the holidays. The stress of always messing it up would rob me of the Christmas Spirit because that pie became more important to me than anything else.
The commercialism of the Christmas season also puts a lot of stress on your performance and finances. Marketing and advertising geniuses tell you that you need to do this or that during the holidays to be happy or please your family and friends.
You need to have lots of presents, lots of food, lots of decorations, they say.
You need to buy, buy, buy --
And all of those suggestions can cause you to feel more than a little insecure, especially if your budget is already stretched as far as it will go.
It's not abnormal to struggle with what you don't have.
You want what's best for yourself and loved ones, but sometimes you can get lost in the drive to acquire things and keep up with others.
In fact, some of the stories I've heard about what Pinterest does to women is heartbreaking. People actually believe that everyone is making all of those things they're posting about.
The truth is -- they're not.
Pinterest is just a fantasy. It's a playground where you can go to pin photos of things you like or enjoy looking at. It's not a journal of what people are actually doing.
Sure, I pin a lot of the recipes I've created and posted at this blog. Those pins are real. But I also pin photos of food that just looks good or photos of food I think my followers might be interested in.
I also pin articles that have caught my attention and fit within the categories I have set up. It's fun.
But it's not absolutely necessary.
In fact, I've felt so badly this holiday season, I don't even have a Christmas category created. I never got around to it.
When you start making the restrictions in your life important, you'll quickly turn your back on what really matters. It's not "things" that bring the happiness and comfort you're seeking during the holidays.
It's not even the food or the parties or the gifts that make Christmas special.
For me, it's the JOY.
Take the time to revisit what makes Christmas special for you.
If you could only have one Christmas aspect this year, just one, what would that be?
While it's easy to forget what makes Christmas special for you, especially when you don't want to feel left out, often, the things we think are vitally important really aren't. They are simply things we've added to our busy schedules because we think we should or because we've been told by others they are important.
One of the most valuable keys to finding joy during the holidays is to re-evaluate what YOU believe is valuable.
Not what is valuable to others.
Tip #3: Stay Enthusiastic
When I was growing up, there was a cute little story written by the popular author, Dr. Suess, called "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
The Grinch was a nasty character that hated Christmas.
He saw it as nothing but a bunch of noise because on Christmas morning, all of the townsfolk living in Whosville would run for their toys, enjoy a huge Christmas feast, and then stand hand-in-hand outside in the snow with all of the Christmas bells ringing.
Amid all of the hustle and bustle of Christmas, they would start singing.
The Grinch didn't like any of that.
He believed the Christmas gifts, trees, decorations, and all of the food was what the towns folk were happy about.
He thought all of those things defined Christmas, so he devised a plan to steal all of the Christmas gifts, food, trees, and other decorations. He figured that if all of those things were gone, Christmas wouldn't come.
Without Christmas, he could go on playing the role of a hermit and enjoy Christmas morning in peace and quiet.
Only it didn't work.
Christmas isn't about the toys, gifts, trees, food, and ringing bells.
It's simply the JOY of being alive.
It's the joy of being with each other, the joy of being free to experience life's ups and downs, its twists and turns, its unexpected moments just as they are -- like discovering the unexpected pleasure of becoming a grandma.
My oldest son and his wife couldn't have given my hubby and I a better gift than the gift of a grandchild. And now that gift has evolved into two.
We have two grandchildren to celebrate Christmas with this year.
For the people in Whosville, there was plenty to sing about. Taking away their holiday traditions didn't dampen their attitude or enthusiasm.
Their mood was still high.
Their inner state was still peaceful, and their love for each other was totally unconditional.
Love without any restrictions or conditions is an extremely high state of mind that few people ever achieve, but we can stay vitally interested in and enthusiastic about the holidays without all of the bells and whistles.
Happiness isn't dependent on bells and whistles.
Despite the restrictions that Grinch had placed on the townspeople of Whosville, they stood outside of their homes in the snow on Christmas morning and enthusiastically sang about the glorious day anyway.
Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, playing the role of a victim, and complaining about everything they didn't have, they remained enthusiastic in their love for each other and radiated their joy out into the world.
No matter what your situation, you can do exactly the same thing.
You can keep your mood high and radiate Christmas joy no matter what is going on around you. Whether you understand it or not, you choose what you want to feel.
While that might sound like a difficult task, it's really not. All you have to do is start acting like you already feel how you want to feel and that feeling will manifest itself in a very short period of time because our feelings are a direct reflection of how we think.
Change how you think and the feeling will change.
Tip #4: How to Handle Those Who Criticize Your Gluten-Free Diet
It doesn't matter what other people think about what you can or can't have. There will always be nay-sayers who feel important by slamming your gluten-free diet.
Just ignore them and their misguided misconceptions. They are simply regurgitating what a lot of other people are saying.
What matters most is what YOU think about yourself and your diet.
How you see yourself, the world, and especially others, will affect your inner state of peace, so allowing others to control how you feel only results in inner conflict and struggle.
You know what's going on, so accept your current situation for what it is, keep your attitude enthusiastic, and make it a priority to radiate joy during the holidays, no matter what anyone else is saying or doing.
Christmas can still be enjoyable and memorable even when you're gluten free. Restrictions are only a challenge if you think of them that way. In fact, one of the easiest ways to shut down a criticizer is to agree with them.
That's right.
If they tell you that you're being over-the-top or accuse you of being a hypochondriac, due to all of the restrictions and precautions you need to take, all you have to say to them is, "Yep. I am. And I'm trying to be the best hypochondriac I know."
What are they going to say to that?
What other people say and do is never a reflection on you. It's always about them. They are the ones being a jerk, so just go along for the ride, and agree with your adversary quickly.
When you challenge their opinion or confront their misconceptions, all you do is add fuel to their argument. When you agree, there's nothing more they can say.
Tip #5: Change Your Holiday Traditions with Temptingly Good Gluten-Free Recipes and Ideas
Think about putting together a menu that's filled with nothing but temptingly good gluten-free foods and recipes. Instead of settling for a boring roast and mashed potatoes with cornstarch-thickened gravy, why not indulge in:
- a couple of roasted game hens filled with gluten-free stuffing
- steamed asparagus with a richly flavored bacon-cheese sauce
- whipped sweet potatoes covered in your favorite topping
- cranberry-pineapple sauce spiked with minced jalapeno
- homemade gluten-free French bread
Holiday food can still be special without being expensive. The above menu ran us $15 that year because a lot of the ingredients I used were things I already had on hand.
Although there are just two of us, we had plenty of leftovers, so the menu was generous enough to serve 4. While the above menu didn't contain foods I don't also make throughout the year, I wouldn't go to this extent for a non-holiday meal.
That's what made it special.
I filled it chock-full of some of our favorite dishes and treats.
And the same thing goes for Christmas cookies, sweet breads, candy, and cakes.
While there is always a learning curve when it comes to gluten-free baking, you can drastically shorten that learning experience by picking recipes you can trust.
I really sympathize with those who try new gluten-free recipes that don't turn out well. I've done the same thing myself. With the cost of gluten-free ingredients, it's frustrating to try something that doesn't work.
In fact, sometimes, I even wonder if most of the gluten-free bloggers on the web have even made the recipes they've posted.
For that reason, I don't post recipes that I haven't tried and fine-tuned myself. However, if you make changes to those recipes, the results can differ.
The flour mixture you use, brand of Xanthan gum, humidity, altitude, and even the time of day can all play havoc with the results.
Normally, I don't experiment with new recipes for holiday menus. I'll try out a new recipe ahead of time to see if it needs to be adjusted, but one Thanksgiving, hubby and I did try making our own bread stuffing and pie crust. The stuffing worked well, but the pie crust did not.
That's just the way it goes sometimes.
This Christmas, why not make it a goal to forget about what you can't have. Place your attention on what you can. Decide to be happy no matter what your financial or social circumstances are right now.
And above all else, decide to experience JOY.
I love this advice!
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